Dear Baylee,
We're coming up on the 5th month of you being in Heaven. Everybody keeps telling me that it gets easier....it does and doesn't. The pain is still there but it doesn't consume my every thought like it did. I'm still very angry. I am TRYING to let that go because I know you wouldn't want that for me. I just miss you so much. I miss what could have been for all of us. We needed another girl in the house, I am way out numbered.
I wonder what you would be like at 5 months old. Sometimes I see a baby that looks about your age and I stare because I want that to be us. They say that someday I will understand why you aren't with me and I hope I do. I really miss you. I know Grandma Doris is taking good care of you for me.
Love,
Mommy
Monday, July 19, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Dear Baylee...
Dear Baylee,
I am struggling a little right now. I miss you so much. Sometimes it's all consuming. Your little cousin was born last night and he is a cutie. He has a head full of hair....just like you! I really want to go to the hospital and meet little Grant but I'm not sure I'm strong enough. I desperately want to hold a baby...my arms ache for you sometimes. I just don't want to make Scotti or Ashley uncomfortable. I am soooo happy for them but I am also a little jealous. You guys were supposed to be play mates. I just can't understand why you're not with me. I miss you. I love you very much!
Mommy
I am struggling a little right now. I miss you so much. Sometimes it's all consuming. Your little cousin was born last night and he is a cutie. He has a head full of hair....just like you! I really want to go to the hospital and meet little Grant but I'm not sure I'm strong enough. I desperately want to hold a baby...my arms ache for you sometimes. I just don't want to make Scotti or Ashley uncomfortable. I am soooo happy for them but I am also a little jealous. You guys were supposed to be play mates. I just can't understand why you're not with me. I miss you. I love you very much!
Mommy
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Dear Baylee
One of my goals is to get better at blogging. Sorry :(
Dear Baylee,
I'm gonna state the obvious....I miss you. You're 4 months old and when I close my eyes I can see you. Chubby cheeks, my nose and mouth, your daddy's jet black hair (lots of it!!). I imagine you'd look up at me with the same big brown eyes both of your brother's have. You'd give me real smiles and giggles. You would probably be sick of PINK! Its my favorite color and all I've been able to buy for the past 11 years is blue.
I imagine that you're a good baby because I deserve a non colicky one after the other two, especially Noah! You've got your daddy's outgoing personality already. You truly are his little princess and you would have him absolutely wrapped around your little finger!
Tyler would play it cool because he's almost 11 and playing with babies isn't cool but he'd be very protective of you like he is with Noah. Noah would be absolutely in love with you. He lights up when he sees a baby. He'd be a great big brother.
I really wish I would've have the chance to be your mommy here on earth. The most important things in my life are my babies and its so hard to have to go on without you. You were with me for 35 weeks, 5 days,and 67 minutes and I miss you. I would do it all again just to look at your precious face. It really wasn't enough time. I know that grandma Doris is taking care of you until I get there. She was a wonderful mother to me. I love you so much and I will think of you every day for the rest of my life. I miss you.
Love,
Mommy
Dear Baylee,
I'm gonna state the obvious....I miss you. You're 4 months old and when I close my eyes I can see you. Chubby cheeks, my nose and mouth, your daddy's jet black hair (lots of it!!). I imagine you'd look up at me with the same big brown eyes both of your brother's have. You'd give me real smiles and giggles. You would probably be sick of PINK! Its my favorite color and all I've been able to buy for the past 11 years is blue.
I imagine that you're a good baby because I deserve a non colicky one after the other two, especially Noah! You've got your daddy's outgoing personality already. You truly are his little princess and you would have him absolutely wrapped around your little finger!
Tyler would play it cool because he's almost 11 and playing with babies isn't cool but he'd be very protective of you like he is with Noah. Noah would be absolutely in love with you. He lights up when he sees a baby. He'd be a great big brother.
I really wish I would've have the chance to be your mommy here on earth. The most important things in my life are my babies and its so hard to have to go on without you. You were with me for 35 weeks, 5 days,and 67 minutes and I miss you. I would do it all again just to look at your precious face. It really wasn't enough time. I know that grandma Doris is taking care of you until I get there. She was a wonderful mother to me. I love you so much and I will think of you every day for the rest of my life. I miss you.
Love,
Mommy
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